Nostalgia and Escapism

This is my own personal tale of days long past, of nostalgia and escapism to fantasy worlds in the deep 1990s and, amongst other, and of a magical place called Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette, Luxembourg. As another contribution to A Gentlemanly Sport’s 10th anniversary, I thought it would be a good idea to write something more personal for a change.

I dedicate this article to my son Jules.

A little disclaimer first: I might at times sound overly passionate. It’s because I am. It’s a post about a topic that’s essentially “just” a hobby of mine, one of many more or less important parts of my (past) life. Also, it’s quite a lenghty article. I was working a long time on it. So, be warned!

Some theory first

According to Wikipedia:

“Nostalgia is a sentimentality for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations.”

Also according to Wikipedia:

“Escapism is mental diversion from unpleasant aspects of daily life, typically through activities involving imagination or entertainment.”

I have fond memories of past experiences regarding everything fantasy related, be it in literature, film, or games. The older I get, the more that longing sentimentality of better times becomes tangible. I have so many fond memories of these days, long past. Back then, I would read Dragonlance novels, play Heroquest with my sister and the neighbor kids, or watch the Dark Crystal on VHS. I completely immersed myself in these strange, imaginative worlds.

What follows is a somewhat clumsy but also very personal attempt at documenting how I discovered the fantasy genre and, ultimately, my current hobby and passion.

So, stay a while and listen. (Diablo had its role as well)

The Dark Ages

My first foray into my favorite hobby and my love for a very specific fantasy genre in general date back to 1990.

Childhood

As a young kid, I loved reading my Jules Verne classics, Robinson Crusoe (probably the book I read most often), and all the great adventure classics out there. This would certainly pave the road for what was to come some years later.

Heroquest

Christmas Eve, 1990. An 8 year old boy was unwrapping a heavy rectangular present to reveal a game that would have a huge impact on his life from here on. That game was, of course, none other than the legendary Heroquest itself! And that boy was me. You might imagine that I was immediately blown away by the Les Edwards box cover depicting some kind of body builder swinging his huge sword.

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s: Heroquest
My sister and I painted these goblins in the deep 90ies.

Fighting Fantasy

Later, in 1995, I discovered in my school library these strange paperback books depicting some weird monsters and wizards on their covers. I’m talking of “choose-your-own-adventure”-books and of Fighting Fantasy to be more specific. I would frequently borrow them and play them over and over again before returning them to the library. Sometimes, though, they were unavailable. It was then that I realized I was not the sole lone hero venturing to Firetop Mountain, into the Forest of Doom, or to the Citadel of Chaos. I would, however, never find out who these other brave adventurers were…

Today, I wonder who in my former school decided to acquire these books and how that discussion went with the board. In hindsight, I say whoever ordered these books for the library was probably a cool person.

Movies and TV

I remember watching science-fiction and fantasy movies on our VHS device at home. Some became timeless classics, like Star Wars, for instance, others disappeared into oblivion. I loved Walt Disney’s 20.000 Leagues under the Sea. To this day, it still holds the record of my most watched movie. I knew all the dialogues by heart back then

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s: 20000 Leagues under the sea by Walt Disney, my favorite movie of all times!

I liked watching the Dark Crystal and fell in love with the general ambiance and that melancholic soundtrack. Another movie I enjoyed watching was Legend, starring (a very young) Tom Cruise as well as the brilliant Tim Curry playing Darkness itself. The Neverending Story adapted for the screen by Wolfgang Petersen also had a positive influence on me and the other kids of my generation. And, of course, let’s not forget He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Besides watching it on our TV, I had a somewhat decent collection of action figures.

Video Games

Sometime during the 1990s, my sister and I bought a Play Station 1 from our saved pocket money. I remember us playing Diablo religiously and a bit of Warhammer Dark Omen. The first was terribly hard to beat, and the latter was pretty impossible to play without a mouse. But that wouldn’t stop me from playing them anyway and having fun.

In 1995, I bought Lands of Lore, a PC Dos game, and completely lost myself in it. By “completely,” I mean, I played it until I felt dizzy! Video games at that time often had this kind of side effect …

The Golden years

Fantasy Bazaar

About a year later, in 1996, I discovered, with some friends, a magical place. A place to escape reality. A place to meet like-minded people. And, not to mention, a place to spend a lot, if not all, of my scarce pocket money. That place was a shop called the “Fantasy Bazaar” in Esch-sur-Alzette, the town where I went to high school! It somehow reminded me of that bookshop in Michael Ende’s Neverending Story. There was no Mr. Koriander, but the guy in charge of the shop was literally called Guy or, better known as “Guychen” (little Guy). He wasn’t particularly short, though…

The shop not only had the coolest selection of Fantasy and Science-Fiction novels, but it also sold games of that same genres. There were those with awesome fantasy cover art and miniatures inside that you would need to paint yourself. I saw card games with cool fantasy illustrations that you could collect and use in your own bespoke decks. There were books, unlike novels, that enclosed some arcane wizardry to impersonate fantasy characters in fictional worlds with dragons, dungeons and weird dice. It even had a table where people were gathered around and pushing some miniature robots around hex tiles while flipping through rulebooks. I remember it even had a huge modeled castle with painted mijiatures in the shop window .

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s
This place used to be the greatest shop ever.

It was a really fantastic place to spend your lunch break (and money). My friends and I would either skip lunch or buy the cheapest food there was, just to save some Luxembourg francs (no € yet) just to spend them on miniatures, books, and Magic cards: Best diet ever! It was a place I hung out a lot at. Unfortunately, some years later, the place went bankrupt and closed down forever.

Magic the Gathering

Homelands, Ice Age, Mirage, Visions: those were the editions with which I started my somewhat extensive Magic the Gathering TCG collection. Especially Homelands felt, as one might expect, like home to me. To this very day, I vividly remember all these strange yet appealing places, items, and characters.

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s: my Magic The Gathering Collection bought at Fantasy Bazaar Esch-sur-Alzette
My complete Homelands collection from 1995

Dragonlance

Apart from the Fighting Fantasy books, my first fantasy novel I read was Drachenfels, set in the Warhammer Fantasy universe. But, soon after, I would discover the Dragonlance franchise. Dawn of a New Age was my first english fantasy novel. I would go on to read subsequent books in the series, including the classics Dragons of Autumn Twilight and the whole cycle(s). Not long after, I found a peculiar box shaped like an old tome, sitting on a forgotten shelf at Fantasy Bazaar. It was the Fifth Age Adventure game, a pen and paper RPG set in the Dragonlance universe. Until today I’ve never played it. I really want to play it one day, though. Nonetheless, I regularly flipped through the pages, reading up the lore and these obscure rules. I admired the stunning inked illustrations inside the books as well as the included deck of cards.

The Lord of the Rings

I first got to know the books in 1997. A good friend of mine lent me the first book in German. I was immediately engrossed in this world, known as Middle Earth. My birthday, being close, I got the full book as a present from my parents. I would read the German hardcover book three times (every summer vacation), and after that, I read the English edition once. Until today, I regularly listen to the audio books in my car on my way to work. One day, I want to tackle the English edition again, in the hopefully not too distant, future.

Warhammer Fantasy

The shop was selling miniatures and had those free booklets by a company called Games Workshop. I remembered that name and logo from my Heroquest box.

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s

And then, one day at Fantasy Bazaar, I saw the holy grail of miniature goodness: that giant red box called Warhammer Fantasy Battles (4th edition).

The Nostalgia of Fantasy Bazaar in Esch-sur-Alzette in the 1990s

I remember begging my mother to “lend”  me the money. Being skeptical about that game, I went with my mother to the shop (Embarrassment!) to show her the box and what that money was for. You see to what lengths I went to get that precious artifact? Even then, Games Workshop products were expensive! Driven by generosity (or just pity?), my mother finally gave in and bought me the box. Thanks, Mum!

At home, I started building my plastic High Elves and Goblins, which was more a sticking the minis into the diagonal slots of their 2cm square bases.

I would spend hours at my small desk painting these miniatures using GW paints. Back in the day, those were so well packaged that I still have some open posts left from 1996. I still use them from time to time since they’re still fine and perfect to use.

A game never played

I’ve never really played a full game, though, apart from that one time using the quick tutorial from that aforementioned GW pamphlet. I did “playtest” it only once on the floor at my neighbor’s place. We had no mat and no terrain, only boxes and other bits. My opponent was, let’s put it this way,  mildly underwhelmed by this kind of game..  Hence, I stuck to only painting and reading the “White Dwarf” magazine. Until I lost interest a couple of years later. I would only rediscover miniature wargaming much later in 2013. More on that below.

My vintage White Dwarf collection

As previously said, I would also read Warhammer Fantasy novels like Drachenfels or Genevieve Undead. Those were honest, fun, and simple fantasy books. But nonetheless, great stories. I even re-read it in 2023 and gave it the proper review it deserves.

Miniature painting

Soon, I discovered other miniature ranges like Mithril, Ral Partha, and others. I remember a Ral Partha catalog from 1994. I used to constantly admire all these little tin figurines and imagine how it would be owning and painting them, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to easily get my greedy hands on them. Inside the catalog, there were plenty of black and white pictures of unpainted metal minis. Then, when I had the money, I would ask the shop manager to order one or two for me, which at the time took quite some time. Who doesn’t remember the good old mail order troll?

Ultimately, I enjoyed painting the few miniatures I owned. There wasn’t a real pile of shame back then. That would only develop much later, when I re-discovered miniature wargaming and had a job.

The magic of illustration

Often, my mind would venture out to these strange imaginary worlds, simply by immersing myself in all these fantastical illustrations I found on book covers, inside rule books, and Magic the Gathering cards. Oh, how I admired these drawings and paintings. I could stare endlessly at them. I can confidently say today that, if it wasn’t for these old school fantasy illustrations, I wouldn’t have been drawn to these imaginary worlds in the first place. Just by looking at these images, I managed to escape reality for a while. Not that reality can’t be fun from time to time, but I was kind of a dreamer back then, and I literally felt at home in all these imaginary worlds.

I am more of a visually inclined man, and I’ve always had a very vivid imagination during my childhood and youth. There are definitely less useful skills than daydreaming and developing a sense of intense observation. Artists like John Blanche, the aforementioned Les Edwards, Larry Elmore, and Gary Chalk, only to name but a few whose works I deeply admire, were quite influential in nurturing my imagination and creativity hence forward.

World building

Consequently, in 1997 and 1998, I even invented my own fantasy world. I not only drew maps and wrote down its history, but I also rendered some of its landscapes, buildings, and beasts on paper.

Rules writing

With my friend, we even started developing a miniature-skirmish-RPG-style game with rules, a fantasy setting, maps, history, and illustrations. We even used our metal miniatures on the kitchen table to playtest the rules. At one point, however, we slowly lost interest in that project.

An end and a new beginning

As happened to many people, my interest in the hobby gradually made room for other interests during my teenage years and my twenties. In 2013, however, I got to know my club mate, David, through whom I re-discovered miniature wargaming again. Thanks, buddy!

Memories from the past or that feeling of nostalgia

All of this feels very distant today. We are talking more than 25 years.

From time to time, I like immersing myself in all these fictional worlds of my childhood and early teenage years.

That’s when I carefully unearth these aforementioned relics of the past and pour myself a nice drink, just to briefly relive these cherished moments.

I really enjoy venturing back in time to these moments, even though they feel somewhat distant nowadays, like far away lands, to which I enjoyed traveling. There’s this great feeling of coming home after a long trip. A trip that has been taking me already more than a quarter of a century to imaginary worlds filled with fantastical, made-up stuff and creative potential, as well as real memories full of joy and bliss.

There’s pure nostalgia to be found. It’s a constant, a point in time that generates a certain calmness/zen/stability/safety. Call it whatever you want.

Ultimately, I am also aware that I won’t ever feel the same way about my passion again. So many variables have simply evolved over time: age, experience(s), priorities, and just another outlook on things in life. That’s just how it is. And, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

It’s just different. And it will constantly evolve.

Edit: 12 april 2024

Today, I heard something interesting about nostalgia, and more specifically, regarding my generation, who grew up in the 1980s and 1990s. Feelings of nostalgia seem to more easily trigger sentiments of carefree days during my generation’s childhood and youth. Heroquest, He-Man, and many more phenomena from our past all bring back these warm, cherished memories. The generation before mine probably saw things differently. And what about the current generation of kids? Will they discuss fond memories of Paw Patrol and Peppa Pig with their friends over a glass of wine?